So yeah, I realize I haven't written anything in a while, again. It's not like before, when I really didn't have anything interesting-that I really wanted to share-to write about; these days I'm just far too busy to remember to write most of the time. Basically, my resume after this semester alone is going to look awesome, and I'm pretty sure I'm not dropping any activities after the semester (actually, I've been planning on adding a few) so I'm probably going to continue to be ridiculously busy for the rest of forever. Last semester was nice and easy and relaxing, but I'm probably never going to have that again and I'm okay with that. It's time for me to start thinking and acting like I can't just go home and have my parents fix everything (since, well, I can't). Anyways, I'm trying to get the creative juices flowing so I can write my last article before I become an official staff writer on my school's paper before I go to sleep (because as always, I haven't gone to sleep yet) so, here's my update:
I love my job. I really, really love being desk staff. My boss is amazing (she brought me pastries!), I really like (almost all) of my coworkers, most of the Erickson residents are nice and social and bring me food and soda, and I've actually been getting stuff done behind the desk. I really like having money and knowing that I'm actually going to be able to pay for things on my own without having to rely on my dad spoiling me or my mom taking pity on me. I like the sense of responsibility and it's a lot harder to sleep all day when I have to be somewhere at a specific time every day so that I'm not fired. I feel like I'm more respected by more people, and I like getting to know a lot of people, too, especially people from completely different cultures and ways of life. However, I do miss the free time I had last semester. I miss just being and to decide that I wanted to go to Annapolis for no real reason at all besides the fact that I was bored with my friends at 11 at night and not have to worry about being back before a shift. I miss spontaneity a lot, especially since most of my friends are horrible at planning things. At least now I have money to go out if I ever get the opportunity, I guess.
My classes are going pretty well, too, I think. My English class this semester is amazing; I love my professor. I'm thinking about trying to work on some sort of project or at least keeping in touch with her so that I can have a mentor of sorts to lean on especially when I get into the harder requirements for the major. I have to admit, I'm very jealous of my best friend Ingrid, because she just switched over to the english major this semester, and she already has a mentor and a project and an opportunity to TA, and I really feel like I need all of that if I'm even going to have a chance to have the career that I want. I'm also doing pretty well in Abnormal Psych and I'm at least passing Spanish with an acceptable grade (despite the insanely heavy workload) and I'm doing surprisingly well in my Biology and Bio Lab classes (surprising since I'm one of very few non-biology majors in either class). However, I'm a little concerned about my Linguistics class. I'm doing pretty well in it (I mean, I'm passing, and that's what really counts) but it's just not as exciting as I was hoping it would be. I'm hoping that it's just the professor and not me being totally disinterested in one of my majors, but I guess I'll see soon enough. I might just be bored because we're going over syntax right now and I'm already well aware what verb phrases and prepositions are. Also, I'm a little bothered that my professor keeps reminding me that "grammar doesn't matter" or that there is "no such thing as a grammatically correct sentence" or that it "saying that a sentence doesn't 'make sense' has no meaning" because as far as I'm concerned, correct grammar is essential, and therefore he should stop ending his sentences with prepositions and stop telling me to stop thinking like an english major (which, by the way, is difficult to do since I am in fact an english major).
As I said, I've been keeping busy, so of course my 19 credits aren't enough for me. I'm the treasurer of the field hockey team again, and I've basically been acting as a captain (leading one practice a week-when people show up, helping lead drills and coaching, instructing new players, etc.) so it's really rewarding to see the team together and playing (our tournament starts tonight, actually, so I'm very excited). I also have my two conversation partners this semester (basically, a conversation partner is a student from a different country that is trying to learn English as a second or third or even fourth or fifth language while studying abroad at UMBC. My job is to help them learn how to use English in social situations): a graduate student from Thailand and a business major from Korea. I'm also trying to submit something to Bartleby (my school's creative magazine) and as I mentioned before, I'm almost a staff member on the school's newspaper, so yes, I could definitely say I haven't had much free time.
Somehow I've still managed to be social. My roommate this semester is amazing, and I'm so glad to finally experience what it's like to have a roommate that I actually want to spend time with. We're in classes together and she also works desk staff, so we're around each other a lot and it's been really fun. I still hang out with most of the same people I hung out with last year, too, so it's been great having a set group of friends to spend time with, although I've been making a lot of new friends, too, mostly because of my desk job. I haven't really hung out with Paul in a while, though, but I'm having a really hard time caring about that. I'm just proud of myself for not going crazy or becoming completely antisocial with my workload. I've also still been working on improving my relationship with my family, and that's been going pretty well. My parents and I don't fight like we used to, probably because we're not around each other as much, although I did get to spend a night at their house (my first night in Pasadena this semester) last week, and that went surprisingly well for the most part.
I'm still with Andy, too, and that's been interesting. I feel like at this point he and I are so used to being apart that we're rarely even upset about the long distance thing anymore. I mean, we miss being around each other but not enough to whine and complain about it or even really let it affect us like it used to. We're apart so much that we've just learned to appreciate the times we're together and not really worry about the rest. The relationship hasn't been perfect lately; we're both usually too busy or too tired to talk as much as we used to, but I feel like we can get through it, hopefully.
Anyways, that was a lot more rambling than anyone really wants to read, so I think I'll cut off soon. I just have to say, though, I'm actually pretty impressed with myself. I never would have thought I could be so focused and in control in high school. I feel like I've completely grown up since I started college last year, because being around people at least two/three years older than me has really forced me to stop being immature and childish. I'm able to look back at myself and the things I've said and done in the past and actually understand that I did some stupid things, and that's okay. I've been able to let go of the regret and the "what ifs" and the emotional toll from all the excitement from high school and I never intend to get it back. Unlike a few people I know, I don't miss a single thing about high school; I'm so glad it's so far behind me. Sure, it was alright while it lasted, and the friends that I left behind are still great people, but I've moved on. This is life now, and I love it :).
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